Do you, like - have kids?

I'm feeling inadequate.

Some days, when (if!) my one year old daughter goes down for a nap, I like to cruise through the Blogosphere and take a look at what everyone is doing. These times of relative peace are rare, and often interrupted, because I also have a very active three year old son, who likes to come hurtling in on his indoor bicycle and prevent me from having any sort of quiet time to myself.

As for shopping time, or time out, or time to tidy the house, or knit, or sew, or cook - rarer than hens' teeth. Most of our mornings we are out of the house, doing various childrens' activities, then it is a quick lunch, followed by my various attempts to entertain kids for five or so hours until the Male Of The Species returns home. If the weather is fine, our afternoons are outside as well - at playgrounds, in the Botanic Gardens, or just going for walks.

The upshot of all this is inadequacy when I look on the net. You see, when I look on the net I see beautifully-kept gardens, handmade everything, tidy homes (sneak peeks!), bottled and preserved yumminess, and page after page of beautifully written prose on every issue you could think of.

Which begs the question - do you, like - have kids?

You see, my life is a continual battle against the craziness. I could try to tidy up, but I start at one end and the Destructive Duo are pulling toys and games out at the other. The washing is endless (yes, really). The cleaning is endless (yes, really).

I can't remember the last time I sat and watched television (I just - don't). I could try to sew, but last time I did, my son wanted to stick his hands in the machine, and then he mixed all the pieces up, and lost some - and my daughter grabbed the scissors and hid them. It was a nigtmare.

As for cooking, forget it. I can cook, but my one year old will be in her bedroom like lightning, turning on all the switches, getting into the bathroom and turning the bath on (what fun!), flushing toys down the toilet, and trying to open the front door with anything she thinks resembles a key. I can leave the kids unattended, in short, for all of about three minutes - and then I have to check.

So - my question to other would-be Green Mums is - how do you do it? Or do none of you have young kids? Am I the lone battler here, doing my bit to save the planet with kids? Is being green something for childless people only?

Then there's (apparently) the biggest question of all - if disposable nappies are so evil, and you read about how bad they are all over the net, who are the critics? Who are these people who tell us in such lordly terms that we are such terrible mothers to even consider putting our bubs in anything but pristine, organic, handwoven-by-a-saint cloth? Are the critics simply those who haven't been there, done that (in which case we should ignore them)? Or are you all just doing a lot better than me?

I'm doing my best, I really am. We've got our footprint down to sustainable levels, according to the Earthday Footprint Quiz (which incidentally, doesn't mention nappies - although it does mention meat). We're working hard. But if you think my life is some sort of green idyll, think again.

I'd give anything for regular time off. I'd love to actually sleep in past 6:30 am, for the first time in years. I'd love to be able to go out to dinner with my husband, and not have to pay over fifty bucks in babysitter fees. I'd love to not have a triffid of washing lurking in the corner of the bathroom, reminding me of everything that hasn't been done. I'd love to have some me space and time.

I guess I shouldn't complain though. I'll get time off, when my one year old reaches school age - in four years' time.

Until then, I'll admire your preserves, and your tidy homes, and your patchwork quilts, and your knitting. Well done, everyone. But if I don't comment on every post, please forgive me. I'm probably off changing a nappy.